Dartmouth Police Department issues humorous health advisory due to blizzard

The Dartmouth Police department is known for humorous social media posts whether it involves catching a criminal or community advisories. Their most recent writing is no exception.

Enjoy!

IMPORTANT HEALTH ADVISORY
Just what we needed…another freaking COVID variant!
This new variant, called SNOWVID-22, was detected in several Dartmouth residents today.
Their symptoms included:
• Soreness and sweating experienced after shoveling
• Irritability to children and spouses after being cooped up with them all day
• Severe boredom, leading to several trips to the kitchen
• Repeated, and pointless, trips to the window, followed by an empathetic “WOW!”
• Uncontrollable baking
• Constant self-questioning as to why you didn’t buy a snowblower last year
• Binge watching Cobra Kai and/or Yellowstone
• Finding pleasure in Guy Fieri saying “Shut the front door,” after he eats some amazing looking comfort food on Triple D
• Calling a friend or relative every half hour, and asking them “How much snow do you have?”
• Endlessly searching the Internet in an effort to find one credible source confirming that Tom Brady has indeed retired

If you’re currently experiencing any of these symptoms, no testing is required. Instead, we recommend that you simply go to bed now, and dream of warmer days filled with Mac Jones highlights!