Dartmouth Police offering criminals a cooling station with free transportation, silver bracelets, free photo

Dartmouth Police are looking to help criminals beat the heat by offering them a deal they may or may not refuse.

Here is the offer made by DPD to those who are wanted or break the law.

“As we recently hurt a few people’s feelings out there when we called out a shirtless career criminal for stealing (who, by the way, we caught with our post), we felt it necessary to make amends, not only with those whose feelings we hurt by calling him out, but also with any potential criminals who are planning on wreaking havoc in Dartmouth during this extended period of extreme heat.”

“As part of our effort to treat criminals with more dignity and respect, we are currently offering them a nice cool place to relax, hydrate, and use the facilities, if need be.”

“Though we would love to extend this offer to everyone, unfortunately, we are bound by certain regulations that only allow for us to accommodate those of you out there who either commit an arrestable offense in Dartmouth or have an active warrant.”

“If you, or anyone you know, meet the criteria for this offer, please give us a call.”

“Oh, what the heck! Seeing how I’m in such a giving mood today, we will even arrange for your transportation in an air-conditioned Ford Explorer.
BUT, WAIT! THERE’S MORE…..”

“As an added bonus, if you meet our criteria, we will not only allow you to try on a pair of beautiful silver bracelets, but we will also help you commemorate your visit with us, by taking a nice mugshot, oh darn it, I mean tasteful photo, of you enjoying your well-appointed accommodations.”

“As space is very limited, we strongly recommend that you PLEASE SHARE this post very quickly!!!!”